“If there is anxiety in a man’s mind, let him quash and transform it into joy with encouragement.” Proverbs 12:25
In our evening Mussar group, we take turns facilitating a discussion of the middot (soul traits) of the month, and the facilitator offers both Jewish and non-Jewish texts and quotes to inform the conversation. Last month, we studied worry and joy. I deliberately chose to lead the session because worrying has always been a major challenge for me.
That night, we talked about what worries us, and how joy and worry interact and impact each other. Does worry lessen our joy? The Jewish text, “Orchot Tzaddikim,” written in Germany in the Middle Ages, posits that worry is the opposite of joy. Our Mussar group took a wider view, and we came up with a number of questions: Can we use worry as a gateway to joy by thinking about our worries as things we care deeply about and can lead us to joyful experiences or relationships? Can we transform worry into joy? Can worry serve a useful purpose – encourage us to plan, take control when it’s possible, and exercise caution for the safety of self and others?
I led the group in a journaling exercise about worry, and then we tried laughing yoga as way to experience joy. At the end of the evening, we named a practice for the month to help us incorporate the teachings into our daily lives. My chosen practice was to transform worry into joy, using as my mantra the quote by author Gabby Bernstein, “Instead of worrying about everything that could go wrong, think about everything that could go right.”
The mantra has been extremely useful as I have spent endless hours googling threats and opportunities for our upcoming family trip to Costa Rica. An avid researcher, I have been reading articles and blogs about the country and joined several Costa Rica Facebook groups. Lo and behold, I learned that Costa Rica has more bugs than almost anywhere else. The roads are filled with potholes and steep curves, and drivers take the traffic laws as suggestions. Some visitors staying in Airbnbs in La Fortuna, where we will stay for three nights, wrote about being robbed! Others even posted photos of their bug-bitten legs, unknown spiders and mysterious snakes. And, breaking news – volcanic eruptions! I found plenty to worry about if I chose to stay stuck there.
One of my favorite quotes about worry is a Chinese proverb, “That the birds of worry and care fly over your head, this you cannot change, but that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent.” So I decided to wash that worry out of my hair and focus on all that can go right, to be grateful for and joyful about the upcoming adventure.
After all, I will be sharing time in a tropical paradise with my grandkids and daughter. We will float down a river, take a night hike, climb to waterfalls and relax in hot springs. We will visit the mountains and the beaches, rivers and rainforest. Hopefully, we’ll see red-eyed tree frogs, sloths and capuchin monkeys. We’ll stop at the ferias (farmers’ markets) to buy tropical produce and eat at the sodas (local restaurants) to taste Costa Rican delicacies like gallo pinto (a breakfast dish with scrambled eggs, rice, onions and peppers in Lizano sauce), casado (meat, beans, rice, fried cassava) and tres leches cake.
By making a conscious choice, I can focus on what will go right rather than worrying about what can go wrong. I can approach our trip with gratitude for the opportunity to have new experiences and make memories with my family. Through gratitude and enthusiasm for our adventure, I can transform the worry into joy.
Wish us safe travels and stay tuned for an update of how the trip went!
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